All her fears into me...?

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Today at work we got more news about the corona virus. It’s not good. 

I texted a bit with my wife, who is also hearing news. We are working on a plan together, and trying to stay calm. The funny thing is, this is an emergency. So just how calm should we be?

Calm enough to make rational decisions, I supposed. But alert enough not to sleep through crucial moments. 

I have been thinking of this. His to stay calm. How calm is too calm?

I texted my wife once, “How is your anxiety?” She resounded she is doing well... using the energy to pack. Good. 

I almost checked in again, then stopped Mysekf. Asking too often may actually make her anxiety worse. 

Then I thought of my mom. 

How often would she do that? I can just imagine her now, calmly calling or taking to people. “Oh, did you hear about...” oh yeah, I heard... “Are you worried about it?” Oh yeah, well, we have taken precautions. “Yeah, cause it’s a lot more serious than we had thought.” Yeah, I know mom. We’ve taken precautions. “You’re not...panicking are you? Because some people are really worked up about this...” No, I’m fine mom. Should I be panicking? We’ve taken precautions. We’re good. “Yeah, cause some might say you haven’t taken enough precautions. Maybe, I mean, I don’t know. Some people do more. That’s all I’m saying. “ I think we’re fine, mom. Or are we? “OK, well, as long as you say so. Just wanted to know if my little boy was OK.” Inward groan. I’m not little anymore, ma! I can handle this! “OK, thanks. Well, goodbye! I...love you...!” Love you too mom.

...and just like that she has out all her fears into me. [this is an allusion to a Pink Floyd song, see below]

But not really because I’ve put her out of my life. But yeah...I think that’s pretty close to how she does it. 

Because it makes her feel a lot better about her own issues if she projects them into somebody else, then tries to fix them. Says all the things to them that she wants to hear. But in the process...if I’m not careful...her fears come into me, and become endemic. 


A useful thing has been learned here today. 

****

Mother, by Pink Floyd 



[Verse 1: Roger Waters]
Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Ooh-ah, mother, should I build the wall?

[Verse 2: Roger Waters]
Mother, should I run for president?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Ooh-ah, is it just a waste of time?

[Chorus: David Gilmour]
Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mamma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Mamma's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mamma's gonna keep you right here, under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Mamma's gonna keep baby cosy and warm
Ooooh, babe
Ooooh, babe
Ooh, babe
Of course, Mamma's gonna help build the wall

[Guitar Solo]


[Verse 3: Roger Waters]
Mother, do you think she's good enough–for me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous–to me?
Mother, will she tear your little boy apart?
Ooh-ah, mother, will she break my heart?

[Chorus: David Gilmour]
Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mamma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you
Mamma won't let anyone dirty get through
Mamma's gonna wait up until you get in
Mamma will always find out where you've been
Mamma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean
Ooooh, babe
Ooooh, babe
Ooh, babe
You'll always be baby to me

[Outro: Roger Waters]
Mother, did it need to be so high?

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