Workplace narcissism: Joe might be my boss

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Today I sat in the office with Joe and Kim already talking. 

“What did you say?” I asked

“They’re offering Joe the position of manager here. I think he should take it.” Kim had a big smile on. 

“Yeah, I don’t know. They’ve Veen asking me for a while...”

“They know potential when they see it,” said Kim, beaming. 

I took note. In private, Kim has often said he disliked Joe, and would rather not work shifts where he was working. 

“Well, it will be good to have one reliable person to direct questions to.” It was the kindest honest thing I could say. 

I took note of two things. First, narcissists in authority teach hypocrisy. You need to hide your true feelings around them. It is a matter of survival. I deeply dislike Joe, and would be a happy man if I never worked with him again. Even on good days, and even though I know I have his respect, I know it could all change. And he continually plays little dominance games, as all narcs do. But were I to in some way let him know this, he would make my life difficult. A healthy person can handle knowing that some people like him less than others. It’s OK. But a narc must believe he is best buds with everyone. It is imperative for his ego. And so we must learn to be two-faced. 

I also took careful note of Kim. He is trying very hard to be liked. The quickest way to the top is to report on someone else. We are friends, and we go way back. But I think I may be wise to watch myself around him. 

Neither of them can really hurt me. I am a solid employee in a place that needs workers. 

Am I overthinking this?

Unfortunately, when a narc is the boss, mind games abound...

***

 later reflection

These thoughts, and my general state of mind today, seem to be a step back for me. I noticed that I am hurting, and processing new things from my childhood. This seems to be a pattern. Perhaps all narcissists and codependence are dysfunctional, I got caught up in these games because they are hurting.

There can be nothing game by playing the game. The way forward is to find healing, so that I don’t need approval, I don’t mind when I “lose my position“ in these silly games.


Once I am healed, I will be able to go back to focussing on doing my job extremely well, and focussing on loving people as best as I can. And that way, my job will be secure, and no narcissist game will be able to demote me too far. Because everyone likes a decent person who works hard and loves well. 

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