Dream: at the pool with my father and daughter

This dream happened the night after the one with the crocodile. 

It has taken me several weeks to jot it down, but the key images are still fresh. 

I was at a swimming pool, and most of the people were swimming naked or topless. This was not arousing to me, but very awkward. Everyone seemed totally fine with it, but I kept averting my eyes (while trying not to make it too noticeable that I was averting my eyes). I caught a glimpse of a fully naked young woman and was shocked and repulsed. Again, I was not aroused, but feeling extremely awkward by the whole ting. 

I decided, “it might be OK for all these people, but I’m leaving.” 

I left and in the lobby a group of men were sitting around calmly playing cards, fully dressed. I thought, “oh my goodness. Was that a woman’s only pool?” I was trying to figure out if I should be mortified or not

Before I could figure it out, I was in the pool area in swimming trunks. My young daughter was swimming topless (again, not arousing) when suddenly my dad showed up. He was also wearing swimming trunks. 

He let me see the pain in his eyes, and awkwardly came forward, like, “so you going to hug me or what…?” I went in for the hug…super awkward with naked chests. Then he went to hug my daughter, and huge alarm bells kind of went off in my head. 

Then, we were in a bus (which meant we couldn’t get out). A band was playing a song, and I looked up at the guitar, and it had a lot of knobs and dials. Very disturbed to be on a bus with my dad and my daughter together, I began frantically (but discreetly) trying to turn the knobs and press the buttons to call my wife. 

SOS! Help! I need to get our daughter out of here!! 

***

I feel like this dream is very straight forward, and maybe clarifies some things from the preceding dream. I hesitate to post it (I may not…but if you are reading this, I guess I did!) because it has some disturbing images. I repeat: they were not sexually arousing images. It was just an idea of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And it was interesting that while I felt very awkward, and all the men waited outside, my father just walked right in. That is so like him. This is what I am trying to figure out, with him. Is he a pedophile? Or does he just totally flaunt all social conventions, so that I can’t read him? I remember one day we bought ice-cream sandwiches and they were all melting on a hot day in the city. He went to some random lady’s son and offered him one. The mom looked at him like he was some kind of alien. Like…who does that? Is he just stupid? Or is he wicked? Or what?

But then there he was. And I knew he wanted to be there. I knew he wanted to be accidentally in a place where my daughter was less dressed. And I knew he wanted me to hug him, and he would use the car ride to trap both me and my daughter in a confined space. 

I think this was a more pointed reminder from my subconscious, we don’t trust this man. We do not trust him with our daughter. We do not trust him in confined spaces. He will try to use social pressure and awkwardness, and subliminal messages to control you. But don’t let him! We don’t trust him! 

This is part of my ongoing journey to try to listen to myself, and my deep intuitions in relation to my father.