Throwing Apples

I am feeling as though I have been a major breakthrough, and that I need to spend a lot less time thinking about narcissism. That is, I do not have a constant need to process it. It seems less important that I understand every nuance I’ve let narcissists are doing around me. I feel as though this is because I know I am finally free from my parents, they cannot hurt me, at least, they cannot force me to come back. ** Today at work, I jokingly asked Joe, “did you miss me?” I had been gone away from work for four days, due to the pandemic. He replied directly, hope the boat like a sore thumb!” I just laughed it off. Hey said a few other things that were typical of himself, and rice and I left them all. I don’t even remember them, I did not keep them in my mind until I would have any time to write them down. Laughter truly is the best medicine. I realize this is what Rice uses all the time with Joe says something immature and ridiculous. He just laughed it off. Interes...

Well, I have been doing some digging and I haven’t really been happy with some of the things I have found. So I have found it best to have some space at this time. What sort of things have you found? I don’t really feel at liberty to share. But I just don’t feel that mom and dad are healthy people, or healthy influences on my children right now  Yes, but they are family, aren’t they? Yes. They are family. But I have my own family to think about. And their needs come first. Right now I think it’s just important to keep my children away from influences that I find unhealthy. 

My wife and I have often mentioned to one another lately how we have both been swearing more. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have decided not to exaggerate in this regard, and especially to watch my mouth at work. However, as we both said to one another, there are some sentiments that cannot be expressed articulately without swearwords.  All words are invented, I suppose, because there is a reality that needs to be expressed. And this seems to be the case with swearwords. Take fuck you, for example. With this communicates is a complete cutting off of a relationship. It is like, “This completely ends! I don’t care what you do with yourself. But you’re not doing anything to me anymore. I am throwing you out, take the dog and your car and your stupid video games. You are out of my life and out of my heart forever.“ You can hear a door slam and an engine rev, and know that that is just the end. Absolutely the end. It is a short phrase that says so much! Being a ...

There were two best friends or sisters living in an apartment. Both were kind and loved one another. But one became involved in a gang of some sort and turned evil. The two had a conflict, and the evil girl hung the other over. I came to the apartment, and she was hanging from a rope, but still alive. I lifted her and cut her down, and we grabbed the other sister to try to bring her to justice.  We left and were walking quickly down the street. It was a crowded city street, and there may have been a festival of some kind. We were worried about being found by the gang. We found some police officers, and I got up the courage to say that we were making a citizens arrest. This woman has tried to murder her roommate.  The police officer I had found was a plump woman with very kind eyes. Motherly in a good way. She believed us completely, which greatly reassured us. She asked what threats or comments had been made, and the good sister responded that she had made numerous ...

I feel like my mental journey is going too quickly to keep up with everything I want to blog right now. Here are some thoughts which would make a great blog posts, but realistically I probably won’t have time to expand on them. Alice in Wonderland I remember a video game I saw ones about Alice in wonderland. It was a dark themed game, where the protagonist Alice fight creepy monsters from the children’s book Alice in wonderland. She was depicted with several long daggers, dripping with black blood. Intrigued, I read the back. Rather than telling you about the game, the back of the game read like a full doctors report. “Alice seems to be progressing. She has several significant internal problems. But she is working on them, and perhaps someday she will find freedom…“ Signed, Dr. X, head of psychology at Rockford Asylum.  Sometimes, I feel like that girl. Fighting Mighty battles with wicked creatures in my mind. But I feel like I am advancing! Every level, I sweat th...