Dream: two sisters and the gospel

There were two best friends or sisters living in an apartment. Both were kind and loved one another. But one became involved in a gang of some sort and turned evil. The two had a conflict, and the evil girl hung the other over. I came to the apartment, and she was hanging from a rope, but still alive. I lifted her and cut her down, and we grabbed the other sister to try to bring her to justice. 

We left and were walking quickly down the street. It was a crowded city street, and there may have been a festival of some kind. We were worried about being found by the gang. We found some police officers, and I got up the courage to say that we were making a citizens arrest. This woman has tried to murder her roommate. 

The police officer I had found was a plump woman with very kind eyes. Motherly in a good way. She believed us completely, which greatly reassured us. She asked what threats or comments had been made, and the good sister responded that she had made numerous cryptic statements. She related these to her assistant (a very fat young man, with a computer, and probably a donut. He seemed to be a slob, but he knew how to do his job) and said, “Check the Simpsons database. Maybe this has something to do with them.” I did not know why the gang would use the Simpsons tv show as code, but it made sense somehow. 

The evil sister began crying crocodile tears, but it didn’t work. So she went passive. 

The police officer handed me a chart. On it were bible references, and a place next to it to make some official yes or no type answers. 

“You must select, ‘sword or stone’. Which of these will be like an immovable rock for you (and protect you) and which of them will you use to fight?”

People might be offended by the religion of this document. I thought. Yes, but it is the only thing that is effective against the gang!

As I looked at the chart, I saw that someone else had already filled it out. I knew that it was filled out by a very overly-eager seminary student, that just wanted good grades. But as I read it, I realized that I actually believed it very strongly. 

Instead of check-marks, there was a sort of icon or symbol of six or eight hands all vigorously trying to wash one another. The first icon was grey, and it had the thoughts attached to it...

I am not clean because I have washed myself...

There was an outline of clear hands. 

But because of what has been done for me and to me. 

There were very white hands. 

...and for that reason, I am completely clean. 

White dye began to spill off of the icon, and run down the page. It was startlingly white. 

As I woke up, I think I could hear bullets being shot from a gun with a silencer. They may have hit the police officer, leaving the girl and I vulnerable. I was trying to decide whether to grab the evil girl or the good one, and run. We wanted the evil girl as a witness to expose the gang. But at that moment, we just needed to get to safety.

At the same time, I knew somehow that no one could really die. The girl that had been hung was not any worse wear. And the police officer who was shot would only be temporarily stunned. That is just how things were there.

***

Recently, I have been questioning, and testing out a lot of things. I have said to myself, “I want to get healthy, and I know I have been controlled and abused by religion. Right now, my gut is my guide. I will leave religion on the shelf. Anything that feels healthy, I will take. Anything that does not feel healthy, I will leave there.“

So far, the strategy has been working very well for me. Rather than pulling me away from God, I do feel that it is drawing me closer to him. Much much closer. 

I feel as though this is my subconscious telling me that it loves the gospel. I think that is the right way to say it. It loves being forgiven, and free, and having the spiritual protection of being right with God. That seems to make sense on many levels. My body does not like the feeling of shame: it hates demonic influence, and has suffered from their evil whispering and temptations before. It wants none of it! And from experience, the only thing that has helped has been the blood of Christ, and the message of Christianity. That is what has helped in this battle, this conflict between The two sisters within me. 

I noticed that the characters with which I interacted were likely components of myself. The police officer seems to have been a protector of some kind. She had an assistant who was like an organizer/archived specialist. The two sisters were like a good and bad side of a component of myself (maybe, good and bad sides of myself) I’m not sure what they represent other than good and evil. What is interesting is that the evil was an outside force. It was because of, “the gang,“ that the one sister had been turned against the other. It was due to their influence that we were in danger. They spoke in the code language of The Simpsons. As mentioned in a previous post, I have been seeing the dysfunctional patterns of a narcissistic family in the Simpsons. And so this gang could either be my family, who raised me in dysfunction, or else it could be sin itself, and the Devil, and the forces of evil in the world.

Either way, this sounds like a restatement of the central belief of the Christian religion: that evil comes from without, but also finds a foothold within. However, evil still feels like a foreigner within us, as we long to do good. We cannot really be good enough, and so we need the sacrifice of Jesus to cleanse us.

Even as I say that, it feels so good. I know that these words are true, and that they are precious to me. They are worth saying over and over again. They are emotionally healthy words. I am not sure at this point how to fix my God image, or how to integrate these new revelations with my older ideas of God. However, I realize that this message has been the most healthy message of my entire life. If I am listening to my gut, am if my gut gets a voice, it votes for the gospel.

Because it needs an advocate on its side, and it has not found anything more powerful than these Bible verses that speak about being forgiven, protected, and adopted into Gods family. And because it needs to feel clean, and it has not found a better way to feel clean then through repentance and the blood of Jesus.

As I woke, I was also thinking of Roland from work. And how much he needed to hear this message as well. This is not the part that I enjoy. I do not really like being pushy about my beliefs. However, I know him well enough now to know that this message would give him such tremendous relief. He too has such a tremendous hunger to be clean inside! Perhaps there is a way to have a conversation with him. I have no idea how, since with social distancing we barely talk anymore. But I will pray for an opportunity and see what comes of it. 

This is a message that bears repeating.