I blocked my parents on facebook...

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[Written retroactively on February 25th]

On about December 22nd, I finally made the decision to block my parents on Facebook. It was a colossally huge step. Usually quite active on social media, I had been posting less and less. As I write this, an enigma that still remains is how my mother silenced me. I felt like she said something in our phone call around one year ago, and from that day, all joy went out of my desire to podcast and blog. I have been trying to regain it. In the complexity of stepping down from a ministry position, there was also my parents. What they will think, their expectations.

 With them blocked, finally, I felt like I could begin posting again.

 Also, I felt like it was the final statement that this was real. I was really cutting off contact with my parents. I was making a change. I didn't know what yet exactly. But I knew it was not going to be, "business as usual." From here on out, things would be very, very different.

 It took a surprising amount of time to block my parents. I also blocked a few of their friends, who I didn't really know and had friended only for their sakes. Better safe than sorry.

 As I worked, a song kept coming to my mind: Bon Jovi, It's my life. 

 It occurred to me that had I had a rebellion as a teen, this was perhaps exactly the sort of music that I would be listening to. However, my parents had nipped that one in the bud, telling me that my faith required that I obey them well into adulthood, and spanking me at 16 for telling my mom that I had negative feelings towards her. I was always required to say that I loved them. Required.

 Well, I wasn't required anymore. 

 It's my life. I aint gonna live forever. I just want to live while I'm alive.
My heart is like an open highway. And just like Frank Sinatra said, "I did it my way." 
I just want to live while I'm alive!


I went for a run, and as I did, I listened to this song over and over. I felt so free!

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life
This is for the ones who stood their ground
It's for Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake
Luck ain't enough
You've got to make your own breaks
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life
You better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down
It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)

 It's my life.
I aint gonna live forever.

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