Diagnosing my parents, Cluster-B

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In this post, I am seeking to diagnose my parents. I am following up on what terms I come across, and using what diagnostic tools I can find online. I want to get as clear a picture as possible of what I am dealing with.


Cluster-B personality disorders

I have heard the term "cluster-B personality disorders" fairly often. But what does it mean? According to Medical News Today:

Doctors use a diagnostic manual called The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, or (DSM-5), to help diagnose mental health conditions.
DSM-5 defines three main clusters of personality disorders:
Cluster A: People diagnosed with cluster A personality disorders may find it hard to relate to others. They may behave in a way that others consider odd, eccentric, or paranoid.
Cluster B: People diagnosed with cluster B personality disorders may find it hard to regulate their emotions. This may cause relationship problems. They may behave in a way that others consider overly emotional, dramatic, or erratic.
Cluster C: People diagnosed with cluster C personality disorders may be seen by others as antisocial or withdrawn. They may feel very anxious and behave in a fearful manner.
The following cluster-B personality disorders are commonly associated with narcissism:
- narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
- antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
- borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- histrionic personality disorder (HPD)

...let's take these one at a time

Narcissism

According to the quiz on this site, anyone who scores over 50% is a narcissist. My dad and mom score 90% and 93%, respectively. So, fairly extreme on the narcissism scale.

According to the quiz on this site, both my dad and my mom have a "strong" indication of narcissism.

According to this site, dad scored 36 out of 40, while mom scored 35. This is higher than 98.2%, and 97.9% of their sample group, respectively. They also included this additional information. Notice that while both exceedingly high, their narcissistic traits are not identical:

Dad:



Off the charts in: authority, self-sufficiency, superiority, and exploitativeness. Lower in exhibitionism and vanity (which makes sense).



Mom is off the charts in authority (no wonder they fight), self-sufficiency, exploitativeness, and vanity. Also quite high in superiority, exhibitionism, and entitlement.

...I could do other test, but at this point, it seems pretty clear that my parents are narcissists.

(But...Am I a narcissist?)

Before going on, I thought it would be interesting to test myself. Since this last test seems the most thorough, I did only this one for myself. I found that I scored 15 out of 40. This is higher than 62.8% of their sample group. A little more than average. This is not surprising to myself, as I know that I do tend to push myself out there, and...well, look at me. I am writing a blog about my inner thoughts. So clearly I am a bit more "into" myself than others. However, the detailed breakdown is interesting to see as well:



I am not "off the charts" in any one area, as my parents are. I am fairly high in authority and self-sufficiency. This I knew: I can get a job done, and do it by myself, and often like it that way. I do tend to be a bit superior: although if I were to have taken this quiz five years ago, I tend to think that number has dropped significantly. And yes...I am vain. Mostly because I recently lost 50 lb, and really like looking at myself in the mirror. I look good, for once in my life! 🤷‍♂️ What are you going to do? 😂

This is helpful, because (rightly or wrongly) I am going to evaluate my parents against myself. Which one of us is the sane one? Apparently, I am slightly narcissistic, while they are extremely narcissistic. OK, moving on...

Psychopathy (Anti-Social Personality Disorder, ASPD)

According to this site, dad scored "very high" on psychopathic tendencies, while mom scored "no psychopathy." OK, so this is interesting. 

Let's do a different site to confirm...

According to this site, dad got "high psychopathy" again. 

What is a psychopath, exactly? A psychopath goes against the normal rules of society. He/she demonstrates patterns of manipulation of others, and of violating the rights of others. They act impulsively, and do not consider the feelings of others in their actions. They will never admit wrong, apologize, or take the blame. 

According to buzzfeed: 
Not all psychopaths are Hannibal Lecter. According to Kevin Dutton, a research psychologist at Oxford University's Department of Experimental Psychology, being a psychopath doesn't mean you're a serial killer or even that you'll break the law.
"In clinical psychology," he tells BuzzFeed, "a psychopath is someone with a distinct cluster of personality traits, including charm, charisma, fearlessness, ruthlessness, narcissism, persuasiveness, and lack of conscience." Those traits can be handy in many walks of life, not just crime.

Sociopathy

A socio-path has no regards for the rights or feelings of others. They use and manipulate others to get their way. 

My dad scored low on sociopathy, while my mom scored "little to no indication." Well, good. I can rule that one out.

Sociopaths and psychopaths are often confused. Here is a helpful chart from this site. 

Basically, a sociopath is your typical, out-of-control individual. Driven by rage and internal "demons," he messes up his life and often ends up alone, alienated from society, or in prison. But a psychopath is different. This one is much smarter and in control (so very in control) of his emotions...and by emotions, I mean, emotions about himself, since he has little to no empathy for others. This is the person who can cover over their criminal activity, trick everyone, and lead a successful life all while being inwardly a very cold and calculating individual. Not all psychopaths are bad people. Some celebrities and politicians and business owners have channelled their lack of conscience and feeling into successful careers. However, many criminals are also psychopaths...and even When it comes to the successful ones...I may trust them to manage my money, but I would not want them babysitting my kids.

I will research this more in coming days. Let's move on to...

Borderline Personality Disorder 

According to this site, both my dad and my mom got 9/10, or "extremely high" for BPD.

According to this site, a score of 33 or up is "severe," and my parents scored a 37.

They seemed to be fairly equally strong in this disorder. I know nothing about it. What is BPD?

According to the Mayo Clinic, "Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships."

Psych central says that it is characterized by: 
- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
- Unstable and intense relationships.
- Identity disturbance.
...and so if I understand correctly, it is a condition of lacking a sense of core value or worth, perhaps from some early, significant abandonment. Therefore, the person has a shaky sense of their own identity, sometimes feeling like things are unreal, or changing around them. They cling to others, and sometimes make impulsive, erratic actions to try to cling to people so that they will not abandon them. Leaving them would seem to imply that the person is a bad person, which they could not handle. The condition also includes self-destructive behaviours. As good Christians, my parents didn't speed, drink or gamble. They did binge spend, though, and my mom binge eats. My dad has always had a strange relationship to toxic chemicals and junk food: he knows it's bad for him, but uses it anyways. (For example, he prides himself on using ether to clean his cuts while at work, and uses various strong chemicals without a respirator, and with bare hands, despite product label warnings) My mom is a hypochondriac with deeply internalized issues, leading to generalized physical symptoms which are too numerous to list, but include dizziness, numbness, bouts of fatigue, difficulty breathing, and extreme food allergies leading to vomiting and other issues.

I feel as though I am still just scratching the surface of this disorder. But the way that they seem to frantically "cling" to me (in their own ways) when I set a boundary seems to fit with this disorder.

Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)

According to this site, my dad and mom are 5/8 and 6/8 HPD.

Although I answered questions differently, both my dad and my mom got a 27 at this site, which advised them that they each, "very likely have HPD," and should consider seeking professional help.

...so it seems like this is part of the mix as well. This time, for both of them. What is HPD?

According to the American Psychiatric Association, HPD is, "a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive attention-seeking behaviors, usually beginning in early adulthood, including inappropriate seduction and an excessive need for approval. People diagnosed with the disorder are said to be lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, and flirtatious." 

Wikipedia adds that, 
HPD lies in the dramatic cluster of personality disorders.[3] People with HPD have a high need for attention, make loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerate their behaviors and emotions, and crave stimulation.[3] They may exhibit sexually provocative behavior, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and can be easily influenced by others. Associated features include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

Conclusion

In conclusion, it does seem that I am dealing with people with definite personality disorders. This helps me by validating my journey a bit. Yes, I may have some reasonably good memories. Yes, there were good times. But...my parents have real issues, and there are real, substantial reasons why I may chose to continue to cut off all contact for the foreseeable future.

Next, I want to study the so-called "dark triad." Is it possible that my dad fits into this?

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