Dream: "You can REALLY have no contact, you know..."

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I had another dream last night. It is mostly gone, and I won’t try to drag it up.

It was a rather “intense” dream, with people running here and there. There was a door, and a big circular saw that wanted to cut through it. I think we were spies or something. There was a large, multi-story apartment building, and we were living (hiding) on a high floor.

There were a lot of things going on. But then a girl named Rebecca took me aside. This is a real person, that I did a podcast with a few months ago. She has a lifelong battle with anorexia (and the physical fallout from anorexia) due to her extremely religiously controlling parents. I contacted her recently, and she has had to back away from social media, and can’t air our podcast, because her parents are actually doing crazy things like calling the police to “sweep” her house. She is in a bad place.

Usually dreams are fairly symbolic and confusing. But Rebecca took me aside in our apartment and just told me over and over, “You know, you really can just keep them out completely! You don’t have to let them have any aces to your life. None at all!” She went on and on, forcefully trying to convince me of this. I grudgingly admitted that this did make sense, and that it would make life a lot simpler to just keep them out completely.

I realize that with meeting my brother for breakfast today, and with the package that I received yesterday, I have been considering how someday I may have some contact with my parents again. “After all, they’re not all that bad.” …but then, if I have some contact, will they bring their ten-foot circular saw to cut down all my boundaries, and force their way in?

“You really can have no contact…none at all!” Well, that is what I want after all. I just feel like nobody will understand. At least Rebecca, from my dream does.

And by that, I mean that my inner child very very much does not want to have anything to do with my parents, and very much wants to protect my children from my parents. Forever. 


So I need to pay attention to that.

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