Workplace narcissism: Am I overthinking it?

I have been thinking through what I wrote yesterday about workplace drama, and trying to figure out if I am overthinking it.

Am I working in a toxic work environment? No, I don’t think so. And Joe and Kim are probably not full-fledged narcissism. Narcissism is a spectrum, and so is toxicity. My antenna are up because of where I am in the journey, so I am noticing things that are present in low doses, which I have experienced in much higher doses. I certainly have worked in much more toxic work environment than this, and even at their worst, Joe and Kim are not that bad.

That being said, I do think I am on to something. The things I am pointing out are valid, even if they are not as severe as my language may have made it sound.

Jordan Peter, and his psychological work on lobsters, has noted that social animals (and humans) are extremely sensitive to our place in the hierarchy. Our brain chemistry is hardwired to notice when we are going up or down. And our serotonin levels are adjusted accordingly as well as our cortisol levels. This is one of the most important things for predicting an animal (or human) health, vitality, happiness, and general success.

The small incident about the ziplock bags, for me, felt like a demotion down the hierarchy pyramid. It did not need to be that way. I could have been told in a different way. I could have been told privately. I did not need to be told by both of them. But even besides that, there was just an energy attached to it. It is hard to communicate that.

A good contrast is working with Royce. Royce is the man here with the most experience, but he is not the manager because he is not from down south (where headquarters is located), and he doesn’t really want that stress anyways.

Royce is extremely good at his job because he has a natural, very high level of disgust. I am speaking psychologically: or five major motivations are fear, joy, anger, disgust, fear (and surprise). Rice has a very very finely tuned digestive system and sense of smell and taste. At least three times a day, I will hear him say something tastes “disgusting,“ or (less often) “delicious.“

(for more on disgust as a character trait, see Jordan Peterson below)

Royce translates his sense of disgust (and desire for things to be "just so") into his work, and is perfectionistic about every task. Not because he wants to rise in the hierarchy, but because he wants things done right. For the sake of doing it right. For this reason, he has not needed to worry much about his position in the hierarchy, because he has tended to do very well, and end up on top.

As Royce was training me today, he continually made a small corrections to what I was doing. Not that way, do it this way. The reason it is better to do it this way is this…” There was absolutely no emotion attached to it. At least, no negative emotion. Rice tells me often, “I want to set people out to succeed!” I really felt that. In contrast to my parents, who seemed to discipline me, but not really build me up, Rice really seems to want to train me so that I can do the job better and better. Just...so that the job can be done better. And so that I can be better.

There is a way to correct an action without someone feeling like they are being shoved down hierarchy, and that the person by contrast is lifting themselves up.

I don’t get this energy from Rice: but I get it from Joe since day one, and I am getting it from Kim, when he feels under pressure. Something to keep my eye on.

That being said, this is a generally good work environment: or at the least, it is quite typical. 

I am just over analyzing things, in order to understand these issues better.

And perhaps as I understand this workplace, I will be able to thrive is all workplaces, as most have issues with hidden narcissistic tendencies in leadership.