Forgiving my workplace...

Verse: “stand still and see the deliverance of the Lird.” I will seek to stand still, be patient, and see God work miracles. 

Just Roland and I today. Roland mentioned, “I guess this is my last day...” later, “they haven’t even called me.” 

What, really?

“Well, they wanted to talk after my twelve hour shift. But I said I was too tired. After that, nothing.”

He would stay if someone would pick up the phone and talk with him. 

If he just backs down now, he loses credibility in a big way. 

I reread the toolbox. The precise wording is:

“Your attitudes and actions affect your coworkers. Please communicate with your on SITE supervisors if you have a problem with anyone.”

Great. So a very precise and conservative document is seen as a “personal attack.” Emailing everybody is seen as bypassing local authority. My intentions are judged to be malicious. And they have the gall to say that I should talk to people personally...when nobody is talking to me? (But everyone seems to be talking about me, behind my back).

All because I related information from a public log, that supervisors should be reading anyways. 

I am feeling like this workplace is not worthy of either of us. Do I keep working, but care less? Work less? 

Or do I just keep working until something else comes up?

Certainly, at this point, I have zero loyalty towards this place. It will pay the bills. But if something else comes up, at this point, I am out of here. They chastise and give no support to their best employees, and turn a blind eye to the conduct of the worst, and nobody communicates with anyone. 

They all deserve one another, but this is not the sort of place that will help me blossom as a human being. 

***

On the other hand, perhaps I could learn from all of this. Perhaps there are ways I could have handled this differently. Perhaps I need to work harder on my local alliances. 

This job is well paying, day shifts, and close to home. Perhaps I just need to stick it out. Weather the storms. Outlast the worst employees. Perhaps in a few years this place will improve? 

But are we moving in the right direction?

***

Praying through the forgiveness prayer for various people and situations at work today. Feeling a lot lighter. 

***

Releasing my right and ability to control others. I will not take responsibility for the decisions of others, good or bad. 

I choose to release the effects of my good actions. I release my good actions out into the world, without demanding that good come back to me. They are pure gift. I give, releasing my right to receive good in return. 

I trust that some good will glue to me eventually, as I keep my head up, and keep moving forwards with integrity. 

***

 another way to recast this is that: I have job security! If they will fire Kim, then no way I will ever lose my job. I just need to keep working just as hard, cure have as much, I keep working on local relationships, and things will turn around. It may even end up being a good job eventually.