June 8 thoughts

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Not every 40th wedding anniversary is a victory. 
Not every father deserves a new tie on fathers day
Not every mother deserves a phone call.
Some marriages should have been ended years ago,
And some couples have used their time to abuse and enslave their children and others. 

Sometimes, godly people should enable a separation, and some divorces should be celebrated.



***

Tomorrow, I will decide what to do about my parents visiting. Not because I have to, but because I want to. It is time to end this. 

***

My wife and I have had many discussions, as we try to decide what to do about my parents. Do I send them an e-mail? Do we just leave the e-mail sent in January as the final word? Do I prepare something to say if they come to the door? If they come, do I assert my boundaries? Tell them what they would need to do to change to have a relationship? Or simply tell them to go away?

We realized that we are kind of stuck between two philosophies. 

"Assertiveness training" is all about boundaries, while "victim advocacy" is about stopping the abuse. These are two different ways of looking at a situation, and they lead to two different outcomes. We continue to discuss what we should do in this matter.

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