"Fetch a bone, doggy!"

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Today at work I got a text from my brother. He would like to discuss a will. I take it he means our parents will. I may share that here (will need to dig it out, and then read it…will find a time when I am ready for that kind of upheaval). 

In brief…it’s not much of a will. My wife and I have a will. We went to a lawyer, got our assets together, got the information for our life insurance, got details for our funerals, made arrangements for our kids and house and all that stuff, and made a few specific wishes known. (Aka, “under no cirucumstaces will our kids be in the custody of my parents”….even six years ago, I made sure to put that in there) My parent’s will? Well, for one thing it was only dad. He said mom was working on one, but never sent it. He was like, “I don’t know…maybe there’s life insurance. I don’t own a house. Maybe have investmnets. I don’t know how much they’re worth…” He didn’t include contact information or phone numbers for ANY of his investments. He said he just wants to be cremated, and if we want a grave-stone, we have to buy it. (Of course, he said it in a way that made it sound like it would be for us that the gravestone would be purchased. Like, it was our responsibility). Then, lots of details about how he wanted us to take care of mom, and let her park the camper on our land, and maintain the camper free of charge and on and on about his rights. 

…so anyways. I never responded. Because even a year ago, I could see that it was ridiculous. “This isn’t a will. This is a manifesto of all of his rights…and the way it looks, I’m going to have to budget about $7,000-$10,000 to bury my dad, because he doesn’t plan to save a dime, and he doesn’t have a clue what his life insurance is going to do. Sure can’t count on my younger brother either, and for sure my mom will be broke, so it’ll be my older brother and I footing the bill…” 

All of this is background to why I (somewhat annoyed to receive a text at work..I need to set it up so that only certain people’s texts can get through while working) started feeling worked up. “I hope he donsn’t try to “reel me back in.” I thought to myself. When I had a minute, I texted my wife. Together, we remembered that my older brother has quite good boundaries and has been good at respecting mine. So there was probably nothing to worry about.

So then there I was at work: still very much worked up, but knowing there was nothing to do about it for a few days. I remembered the “dog” inside. (In a previous hypnotherapy session, I learned to visualize the aspect of myself which is assertive and stands up for me as a golden retriever. I have since been seeing how this component of myself arises to protect myself in danger) And thought with a smile that golden retrievers are fun, and love to play. I began telling myself, “We are OK. We are OK. There is no danger. I love you. I love you. I love you.” I could imagine the golden retriever relaxing from “fight mode” (the “heckles” on his back fell down, and his tail began to wag). He began bounding around exuberantly, and I tossled and wrestled him while saying, “I love you, I love you, I love you” to my body, and myself. (I do love myself. And that is not a bad thing. That is a very good thing, since I am a good person. I am a "good boy"!!). As I did, I had a number of involuntary shudders around the backs of my shoulders. I shrugged and tossed my shoulders a few times, like I was shaking out a cramp, or like i was throwing off a garment. All this happened quickly, and fairly inconspicuously. My coworker (if he had seen it) would probably have just thought I had a chill.

Within less than a minute, though, I could feel all of the stress of that event leaving my body. In its place was exuberance, happiness, and a good feeling of self-love. I felt very ready to get back to my job, and be 100% focused on my task. 


The dog would still be there to protect me if I needed him. But for now, he was content. My body was content. And that is a good place to be.

Chantelle Neufeld is a registered hypnotherapist. Her services are reasonably priced and available online. To book an appointment, click here.

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